Yesterday I turned 21 and it set me off into a downwards spiral of “I’m not ready to be 21. How did I get here?”. Because once you’re 21 you’re automatically an adult, right? Well I’m telling you now, I don’t know how to adult or the best place to start. And as someone who still lives at home and likes hanging out with her parents, I do not meet society’s expectations of a gal of 21. (Not to mention the fact that I still look about 16 cos that can be a touchy subject.) And honestly, the issue for me is that those stereotypical expectations that people have just don’t appeal to me.
Not gonna lie, it does get to me most of the time. I often have moments of “Why am I such a child?” slash “Why can’t I still be a child?” and I hate myself over it. Yet I always come back to the point that those expectations that tear me up inside just aren’t me. And as they say, you do you girl. So I do.
It’s not just the issue of age and adulting, those pesky expectations -and basically peer pressure (yes kids, it still exists outside of high school)- are lurking around every corner I turn. Whether it’s the fact that I should be out partying and drinking the night away when I’d rather stay in with some coke (fizzy pop not any other kind) and get to bed by 10pm (am I child or grandma? Undecided yet). Or the fact that I continue to live with my parents (well I can’t cook so where else am I going to go before I marry a chef?).
Expectations are waiting to slap me in the face and bring me back to reality when I’m just starting to feel good about myself. But does it really matter about expectations when you are who you are and ain’t nothing gonna change that? Besides, if there’s one good thing about officially being an adult it’s got to be that you can do literally whatever the heck you want. So remember: you do you, girl.
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